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November 19, 2012, 11/19/2012 09:13:00 PM
Aku lemas

Lemas dengan perasaan sendiri.
Lemas dengan keadaan situasi.
Lemas dengan syarat-syarat dunia.
Lemas dengan pandangan semua. Lemas dengan orang yang dipanggil kawan.
Lemas dengan kebohongan orang.
Lemas dengan kata-kata orang.
Lemas dengan firasat sendiri.
Sekuat mana aku. Aku tetap lemas.

April 24, 2012, 4/24/2012 07:51:00 PM

I am so confuse now. =[ do i have to wait for him or do i have to just go for someone? If i wait for him, how long will it be? If i wait for you, will you be the same person i know? Will we be the same like the time we knew each other? Haizzzz dilemma? Yes i am in a dilemma mode now.

March 4, 2012, 3/04/2012 07:20:00 PM
If only you know

If only you know what i have been thinking the past few days. One week to be exact actually. Everyone is happy and were happy. Me? I dunno if i'm happy or act as if i'm happy. Depress! Stressful! It's just not me.

If only you know... I am feeling so down lately. Mom hasn't been supporting of what i like. She dun understand my financial disorder. Friends hasn't been there for me lately. I understand. They are busy with work, family and boyfriend. I have family. I have work. But!!! No boyfriend.

If only you know... The reason i dun wanna have a bf is i dun understand them. I dun understand why men nowadays depend so much on women. Why men have to be so sex-maniac. Why men have to be sex-minded. Why men have to be ego. Why men have to selfish. Why men have to rely on his women to foot the bills. Why men have to always choose the sexy, slim, pretty women.

Do you get what i mean?

I am so heavy hearted.

February 28, 2012, 2/28/2012 11:17:00 PM
I think I think

I think am not gonna be slim. Yes i am pretty but to be slim and pretty at the same time, i am not gonna have it. Sometimes i wonder why must i be pretty and slim. Why must i please some guys out there with that kind of package when i actually have it perfectly EXCEPT slim! But then i realise most guys loves that kind of women. Some guys who loves fat but pretty because they say rhey wanna have a "comfy" sex with her. Big butt and big boobs. Like hello? Are you bullshiting me? Fat girls are not for sex only. We have our beautiful heart that none of those pretty but slim girls have! They have those money-minded heart.

I think am not getting any boyfriend. Because i fell for one easily and get obsessed with him easily. BUT... when i find someone who likes me and able to do everything for me, i will suddenly pause and say "i think i dun like you. I think you're not for me. I think you dun have those criteria that i want. I think i will support you financially more" get what i mean? I am so confused. Furthermore i always think those guys who like me actually loves my money more than me. Loves having sex more than me. Yes! I am being narrow minded. But i don't know what i want.

Seriously in conclusion I Think i will never get married. =[